I’ve been living in my new place for almost a week now and the feeling of not having a social network is really setting in. I want to go out and have fun but…with who? I would love to go grab a beer but…who do I call? Oh wait, I don’t know anyone! My friend Jason and his roommate came to visit this weekend to help move my furniture into the new place and we decided to hit the bars in town. My roommate decided to come, too so that rounded our group out to four. We headed to a place I had been before that was also a micro brewery where Hannah assured me, “It’s not really, like, the college crowd. There’s a lot of people there that are, like, all ages.” Uh..thanks. I think?
Hannah is 6 years younger than me, Jared is 5 years younger than me and Jason is 3 years younger than me. Walking into the bar, I didn’t feel old AT ALL. Nope. Not one little bit. Especially sitting next to two guys over 6’3 and a girl with flawless skin and bouncy hair. Nope. Not at all. Drinking beers and joking about random shit, I noticed a group of 5 girls sitting directly behind Jason’s head. They were laughing and having a great time and were around MY age! Oh, these people DO exist in a college town! I had sudden and strong yearning to be their friend. I really wanted to be a part of their group. I wanted to be laughing at girl jokes, too! How do you meet these people when you are the new person in town? I can’t just walk up to them and say, “Wow! You guys look like you are SUPER fun. Can I be your friend??” As the reality set in, I re-joined the conversation in my group determined to appreciate that I WAS out of the house and at a bar and I WAS with friends.
I just…wanted friends after Jason was gone and a social network that covered a grander distance than across the upstairs hallway. But who wants to sound desperate??
Today, I started a new job at an art store in town. It’s super easy, interesting and there are really nice people that work there. I met a girl today who was assigned to train me and she is only a couple years younger than me. That’s doable. Wait. Am I starting to screen people to be my friend? I have criteria I’m looking for now? Sigh. This is getting complicated.
We hung out all day in the store and she taught me how to run the cash register, told me about the artists and helped me learn the ropes. We talked about life and why we were there and what the last few years of our lives had been like. She had some trials and tribulations too and we chatted on and off all day. We were really hitting it off! Wait. Was I becoming anxious to see if she would want to be my friend? I’m really starting to sound desperate…
At the end of the day, I started to think about how we could maybe hang out OUTSIDE of work. You know, like get a cup of coffee or grab a beer…
So I said, “Hey Abby, if you want, maybe we could get a coffee sometime.” She looked at me and said, “Oh I already went and got a coffee earlier.” OOOOOH, NO….awkward…I said, “No I meant like, after work, you know, like hanging out or whatever.” Gosh, this was hard. Is this how guys feel all the time??
Light bulb went on over her head and she said, “Oh, yea, totally! Or a drink or something for sure.” That settled, I agreed that we would have to plan something soon. I said a quick goodbye and smacked my forehead muttering, “stupid, stupid” as I rounded the corner and walked back to my car.
The good news is that she DID say she would go out for drinks. YES! Score! I have a drink date sometime in the future with my NEW friend! And I’m totally NOT desperate. Not at all. I’m totally cool. I have lots of friends. Seriously. Just. Not. Here….YET.